Culture in this case aint made in the East
It isn’t organic, it’s as natural as them
It clogs up your brain, your throat, like permanent phlegm
It appears my almond milk taste and that of the nation
Is an air-head inspired true “celeb” creation
I long for a place free of Wi-Fi and texts
Where nature is real, the face and the neck
The boobs, the hips, the thighs and the ass
At least the chipped brain can smell the sweet gas
From the modified rectum and the dry underarms
They never sweat; a latex brow has its charms
Who needs expressions or emotions, hey dude
hey guys it’s like and it’s like and it’s like
I perform on the couch give Facebook a blast
They hear me, they see me, they know all my past
My smart TV and my “i” track every move
They’ve got all my numbers I don’t need to approve
Oh God how I long to escape from this nightmare, this hell
But which celeb wants to awaken, then leave, and take me as well?
Inspired by the revelation that the massive upsurge in demand for non-dairy milk [brilliant, but wait...] is all down to a couple of "celebrities" who have changed their diet. So all I need for a fulfilling life is to buy "Hello" magazine and copy the air-heads. Who needs a brain?
Jack Stewart, 15/3/2017.