Denial anger bargaining depression acceptance
I’ve done denial and anger, not sure about the bargaining, yes fleeting, deep depression. Anger took the form of jealousy over seeing couples of any age being together. And those resonating with this will know about personal effects, any kind of memory, triggering tears and grief.
Haven’t you done guilt? Scrolling through endless occasions when you acted less well than you should? Can you conjure up times when your partner/parent/child/friend hurt you? Can’t do that yet. Not sure I ever want to.
Music, there’s a real kicker.
Now, I’m unsure how many of you I’m about to lose. Anne has come through [medium Jonathan Brown] from spirit three times and provided a level of consolation which cannot be articulated. And by ‘come through’ I mean I have had conversations with her. But life isn’t that simple when grief and emotions are raw. After the first ‘communication’ I was elated, high as a kite. The second, down and hugely emotional. Because she had left me as a warm-bodied, loving presence, an integrated part of me which I thought was eternal. So, yes, priceless communication, but no Anne. The third time, I have slowly been coming to terms with it all. Emotions less wild.
For those still with me, the most supportive thing I have done, outside of help from family and friends, has been to read ‘White Eagle’ books.
Part of me was prepared to follow Anne to spirit. You know what I mean. However, having been told by Anne that it is my job to carry on with her and Diana’s work down here that is off the agenda completely. My goal, to paraphrase Gandhi, is to be the change I wish to see in the world. Try and stop me.
So, if the penny hasn’t already dropped, the veil between the ‘earth plane’ and spirit is lifting. I realised many years ago, to help move this planet from prison to paradise would never happen through the unsupported efforts of humanity alone. Because we are never alone. And the events of the past 12 months have confirmed, a hundred times, that our lives are not something we can control completely through will power and effort, and no healing process however powerful, can over-ride God’s will. Which is a catch-all term for karma, spirit’s influence and guidance, and our subconscious. And yes, as Anne’s departure has demonstrated, we retain our free will.
Anne has told me, via reference to a card from Wayne Dyer * [who passed a week later than Anne on August 29th] to control my thoughts. This is also one of the key messages from Diana. As I write this, I can let my mind run riot with grief and loss, or I can fill it with thoughts of Anne’s love, humour, strength and compassion for which she was famous.
And when in helping mode, the mode I most cherish, my mind has to be clear and calm. People are depicted daily in the news and popular media as having a runaway train of emotions. Mostly anger, rage, terror and fear. Followed by over-hyped ‘passion’ or excitement when greeted by a Z list ‘celebrity’ or the prospect of winning something.
Joy, sincerity and integrity are a different matter altogether.
I am light years off the role model that was Jesus. But I have had the extreme privilege of sharing my life with a pretty good model of the qualities the world needs most, and that I now hold most dear.
In closing, despite the tsunami of despair that hits us all in these situations, know we are not put here to suffer, but to learn. In the absence of learning the mind again runs riot, and makes us prime candidates for a part in ‘EastEnders.’
Yes Jonathan everything that happens is ultimately for the best. Grief, loss and despair included. Thank you Anne. You are just in another room.
And did I say writing this helps?
* Wayne Dyer’s death certificate will probably say ‘leukaemia’ on it. Anne’s says cancer. She said when she passed she did not have cancer. I’m sure Wayne will have a different view to the doctors too.